Wheeeeee! Puppies! They're so real now, for something I haven't even paid for yet, I am feeling very possessive over my puppy - Who is all of two days old, who may not end up being the gender I want and in any case, I haven't met and probably won't meet for weeks.
I look at that pile of puppy and wonder who is mine? Will my puppy like me? What if I meet the puppies and I don't like them? I mean, how can you not like a wriggly weeks old puppy? But, but what if I meet the wriggly weeks old puppies and don't like them? I am capable of this. What if I meet them and its a wash out? I didn't meet Daisy until she was (probably) six months old, half grown and packed with bad habits and issues.
What would it be like to have a puppy that had only known love and acceptance and gentle maternal discipline and attention? Instead of being whelped and left to defend for itself in a yard with other older, bigger dogs? God! My poor Daisy!
I thought she was a lot of work and she was a grown dog. Are puppies easier to deal with because they are small? Daisy was never small. I understand that real puppies are hard to live with at first, lots of work, lots of mess but its made lighter by the joy of a small and fuzzy puppy. Daisy was not small but she was joyful and sweet and loving, but before she came home with me, Daisy had never even been inside a house before, had never known a gentle mother or discipline of any kind and wasn't near potty trained when I got her, she got her last worming while I was in the vets office watching. What would it be like to start off on a better foot? What would it be like to have a dog that wasn't a health time bomb?
God. I miss Daisy.
What about a dog that was born into the bosom of a loving family that wanted it and took care of it and cared about it? A healthy, socialize, well reared puppy? What would it be like to have a dog that wasn't scared of everything? What would it be like to have a dog that could wander the house without constant supervision - I know, I know, puppies must always be supervised, I know that but what about a three year old? What would it be like to have a healthy dog? I know dogs get sick, they have accidents, I know too well - but what if they didn't need to be pilled every day? What if they were as solid as they looked?
What would it be like to have a dog that could run and swim and fetch and play for its whole life?
What would it be like to have a dog that knows its name? - I know, this is my job to make happen, but what about a dog that remembered its name? How about a dog that could visit other peoples homes and be allowed inside?
Are my expectations too high?